We're like a lot better than the average bears
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
