If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
