hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
