I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
