I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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