chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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