you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize
