honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
