I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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