i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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