I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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