I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize