Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
