i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
