I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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