imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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