You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
