i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize