i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
