why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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