on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize