just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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