im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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