I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
