my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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