whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
