ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
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