You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize