If i come over, it means nothing
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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