everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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