If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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