So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
