i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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