She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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