420 ftw
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
