I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
