You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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