We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
