if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize