Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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