Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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