i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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