we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I had to cum in my sink.
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