pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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