Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
