I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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