I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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