Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
