I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
