guys are not supposed to queef...right?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize