Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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