no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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