There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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