thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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