I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I AM VODKA MAN
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
