I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
