The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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