I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
