he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize