I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
two words: eviction party
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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