I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
