Can i not drive my cunt home
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
