I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
