i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I had to cum in my sink.
The air taste purple.
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