Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just cropdusted the office
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
