Jerry, you need to find god
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Randomize
