i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
